Peter and Leslie heard this (or a version of it) on the BBC in France a few years ago.
I googled a few key terms that they remembered but all I found was this transcription from an English girl’s blog on Bebo. It’s the right bit, but no attribution or credit…
Does anyone know who originally recorded and/or wrote it?
Welcome to Hufflepuff
You’ll just have heard the Sorting Hat mention, in his curiously insensitive song, how Gryffindor is for the Brave, Slytherin for the Cunning, Ravenclaw for the Wise, and Hufflepuff for… The Rest. And I realise that to hear that, and then almost immediately to find yourself sorted into Hufflepuff, well, it’s not quite the ego boost one hopes for on one’s first day at school.
You are one of “The Rest”. The Sorting hat has looked deep into your very soul, and what it saw there evidently didn’t impress. Oh, I’m aware that the hat has, in the past, occasionally described you as “kind”. Yes, and I’m sure that you also have lovely hair.
Some of you may be wondering about the thinking behind the school’s decision to put all the appalling duffers into one house, call it “Hufflepuff”, and give it the symbol of a Badger. A little harsh, you may feel. You may even, who knows, be questioning the wisdom of trusting the school’s entire admissions procedure to a Hat.
These are not, alas, questions I can answer. All I can do is urge you to look on the bright side. At least you’re not in Slytherin! (Another curious decision from the school there. To dedicate an entire house to the children in its care who are Evil. Surely a recipe for trouble.)
Anyway, being in Hufflepuff isn’t all bad. We have our moments of excitement and achievement. Last year, one of us was killed! That was exciting! And it’s something we can all aspire towards.