Archive for the ‘Putting This Out There’ Category

Help, O Gracious Readers…

Saturday, January 28th, 2006

“For Will in the Windows”

Does anybody have a copy of my short story from a few years ago?

I can’t find it at home or in my email (as an attachment to a Sent item) and I’m hoping one of you many folks can help.

You may have it and not know it if you didn’t read it when I sent it.

It will be a MS Word file with a ‘.doc’ extension, possibly with the substring ‘will’ in the filename.

It would likely be in your inbox, from one of these accounts: ‘dwjoyes@yahoo.com’, ‘dwjoyes@tnir.org’ or ‘dwjoyes@barker.tnir.org’.

Karmologically speaking, you’d be ‘rolling in clover’ if you can help me out.

And karmologically speaking, if you can help me out and don’t, well, in your next life don’t come sliming to me, gurgling ‘like sorry, dude, it was late when I like checked my email and I like forgot…’

Cuz I’ll just DEET, Raid® or salt ya.

Just What Is The Notwithstanding Clause?

Friday, December 16th, 2005

Oh!

Things That Go Great With Homemade Brownies, Part I

Saturday, September 17th, 2005

1) French vanilla ice cream

2) Fudge sauce

3) Cream

4) Homemade chili beforehand

5) Cream cheese spread like butter

7) Using raspberry jam between two slices of brownie so you have the best sandwich in the world, if there was a competition, which if there really was, I’d win

8) A glass of cold milk and microwaved brownie

9) Using the dry crumbly edge bits on top of the French vanilla ice cream mentioned above, instead of the other way round

10) A tall glass of ice-cold cranberry juice. Or two.

Thank you, Peter, Laura and Jon. I have a lot of walking to do.

Infinity In A Grain Of Sand

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005

Reid has Google Earth. It’s so cool, I have no words.

No, wait.

Here is an image with my tags on it, showing Kirkfield, the village where I was born, and other things. As it all is now from space, of course, (virtual height of about 32,000 ft) not as it was then, in my imagination.

It may need to be enlarged, by viewing outside your browser, to read my annotations properly. Firefox and Explorer display the page quite differently both on a Mac (as does Safari) and a PC.

It’s a little bit of my history, made with a little bit of our future.

once I thought the world was all that you see...

You’re looking at three small lakes all joined by the Trent Canal. The lake in the middle was low land flooded to allow the canal to go through. When I was a child, we called it ‘The Drowneded Lands”. The lake to the right is Balsam Lake, all natural, and the tongue of water to the left is Canal Lake, also artificial, with the oddly named Antiquary Beach on an island, a beach new in the Fifties (probably; the sand probably being carted in for the tourists, although the area is very sandy and gravely too, the Ice Age, you know…)

The straight blue line in the upper left quadrant curving to the left is the Trent Canal, and it is on this section that one finds the third largest set of liftlocks of their type in the world. There are, at last count, only three of that type. The ovoid near the curve partially obscured by the push pin icon is a gravel quarry abandoned to flooding over forty years ago - you can see how close it is to the canal - the annotation tells you I nearly drowned there when I was thirteen. Many of my family worked there, until the powers could no longer pump enough water out of the pit to make gravel mining practical and profitable. My father and my older sister were, according to family legend, both born, twenty-five years apart, on the same kitchen table in my grandmother’s house on the quarry property.

When I was little this map was pretty much the extent of my world, this is what I thought of when I thought of the Whole Wide World. My grandparents lived near the Talbot River pushpin (although they didn’t think of it that way), and all my paternal relatives lived pretty much in the area of the image, and a few of my mother’s relatives lived not far outside the area; Burnt River and Peterborough.

The brown patches of countryside are, I think, drumlins, and perhaps moraines, certainly they’re mounds and hills of sand and gravel left by the glaciers. Some of my earliest memories are of going out with my father in his pickup into the country around Kirkfield to find one of these hills, already ‘mined’ by someone else, and fill up the back of the pickup truck with sand for our sand box. When we moved to Milton later, another town dependent - partly - on quarries, clay and gravel, I remember wondering why people ‘bought’ sand.

One memory I cherish is that of long, narrow, deep streams with high banks; clear water, big fish, rocks, algae, moss, running through cedar groves, which tend to be thick and dark, water running cold. We were warned off them - ‘if you fall in, you’ll drown’ - but I loved them anyway. I don’t have any memories of wandering off along such a stream and getting lost, but I wish I did.

It’s lovely country up there, but I understand it’s all tourists and retirees now.

And now a story that might as well be entitled ‘You Can’t Go Home Again’.

When I was a child the public school was right next door to our house, and only two rooms. My sister started Grade One when she should have started Kindergarten - and that’s another story.

The general store in Kirkfield was run by Jim and Rita Ewans (might be Ewens?) - I’m pretty sure that’s right, because I’m pretty sure I remember how really nice they were to us kids. The store had the classic dark wood and thick glass cabinets of such places in those days, and I’m pretty sure they had the big roll of brown paper on the countertop (and the roll of string up by the ceiling) to wrap our purchases. They had a big elderly dog named Queenie, or maybe Duchess, who just laid around and loved everybody who came into the store, especially kids (as I remember it). You could place your order on Wednesday and pick it up Thursday.

Then we moved and twenty five years later (late 80s?) , I went back. A friend had family living near Lake Simcoe and I talked him into a side trip. He parked on the curb and I went into the store. It was what I should have expected - fluorescent lights, Beefaroni on the shelf, Gatorade in the back cooler, an east Asian proprietor, and all the soft core porn on the top shelf with a board across it. I bought some gum and went out to the car, laughing.

I wish I could say something pseudo-deep like ‘the land remains’, but of course it doesn’t.

Besides that fact that most retirees and tourists don’t have a cat’s regard for the Ice Age, drumlins, moraines, the streams through cedar groves, the Kirkfield Limestones, or the Drowneded Lands (although I seem to recollect that we spelt it ‘the Drownded Lands’), this was once, and recently, all swamps and muskeg, left behind as the Ice Sheet, once four klicks thick there, and the ecosystems of the south crept north as the deep cold retreated.

Humans have never had such an effect on the world as Chicxulub, as the Ice Age, as the draining of Lake Agassiz until now.

I guess, Time being what it is, I don’t want to see what we make of my memories and imagination.

I’ll probably just laugh at it anyway as I get into the car.

Real Life in Real Time

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

You may have noticed that I have added a Parallel Blogs link to Creford Wong’s cutegd.com. He works in Shenzhen, China as a web designer.

He left a comment on my post about seeing The Incredibles and kindly included his own URL, which I checked out.

This is what I love about the internet. Twenty years ago the chances of my finding out about some guy in China would be slim, and even if I got his mail by mistake, I still wouldn’t know as much about him, his work, and Guangdong as I do now.

Very cool.

Gleefully Pointed Post

Monday, January 31st, 2005

To my own surprise, I am very moved by the voter turnout in Iraq. I was prepared to hear that they had all been intimidated by the insurgents and had stayed home, or that the insurgents had mounted a far-reaching and deadly campaign across the entire country and slain hundreds or even thousands, because face it, these guys are a) nuts, and 2) the closest thing to real human Hitler-style evil that’s abroad in the world right now.

But the voters showed up, the terrorists tried to kill some voters, succeeded a few times, but in one case, reported second-hand by Christiane Amanpour on CNN, a stolen ambulance full of grenade-tossing terrorists was swarmed by voters and the bad guys held for the cops. Cool. Iraq on!

Humans are not perfectable as they are, and human institutions aren’t either, no matter what the airy-fairies say. The fact that we’ve got this far in the West impresses the hell out of me, given how we all started, and how badly we’ve done elsewhere, and given all the experiments in human governance that have gone before.

It may be that in a memetic sense, democracy is virulent and contagious.

Nothing’s perfect, and hope now doesn’t in any way foretell or guarantee something good or better in the future, but hope for the future is all we’ve got, for anything, or about anything. And for people too, individuals, populations and species.

It’s always a fight though.

‘Here’ is often better than ‘there’, because we know ‘here’, even if we don’t like it, even if ‘there’ would be better. ‘Us’ is often safer than ‘them’, because we know ‘us’, even if we wouldn’t trust most of ‘us’ to babysit our kids, even if ‘them’ are nicer people. ‘This’ is better than ‘that’ because we already know ‘this’ and ‘that’ is too hard, although with way more promise.

More, it’s nature versus nurture, gene pool versus meme pool, accidentally sapient apes versus the better angels of our nature, Earth versus the Flying Saucers.

Okay, that last one refers to the Earth we know, our own ways and ideas, in a survival battle with our fears and dreams for the future, an undiscovered country, where we will always end up living, even though we never get there.

Amn’t I clever.

People Are Basically Good…

Saturday, June 5th, 2004

My monitor (a few years old, free from my school when they upgraded) has been dying for weeks now and has finally succumbed.

Does anybody have one (old, cheap) that I can borrow for a while until I can either buy it off you (whoever you are) or buy my own?

My 6 month course is finished but I still have a fair bit of studying still to do to get the last two certifications, MCP for Windows 2000 and Network+. Much of the studying is in the form of downloaded webpages copied to my PC.

I’d really appreciate it.

And maybe there’ll be a little something extra for you next Christmas…

Begging AND Choosing!

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

So, while I’m looking for software, does anybody have Visio for Windows 98?

I can’t believe I forgot this one, since I really used to like it.

Must be slipping.

Hyelp!

Thursday, April 15th, 2004

Gracious readers, if any of you have the CD-ROMs for Office 97 or Office 98 and/or MS Access 97/98 and/or Microsoft Project 97/98, and you live in the GTA, and (jeezes!) you are near public transit (cuz I don’t drive), let me know.

Office ME might work, but I only have a Classic Pentium, and while a Windows ME installation won’t succeed (I tried it…), the Office products might, I dunno.

Oh, and Visual Basic 6, freestanding, ie sans the entire Visual Studio 6 suite of tools. I used to have it but it’s long gone…

And games that might work on Windows 98 would be welcome too; racing (I don’t drive…), first-person negotiators, fight-or-flight simulators, that sort of thing.

And of course, all this for free.

I know you can do it.

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The Uncertainty Principle : Ya Just Never Really Know Now, Do Ya? (pace Terry Pratchett et al.)