I can’t believe they actually executed Saddam Hussein.
I mean I believe it, but I can’t believe it wasn’t funnier.
* How Saddam Hussein died in ‘South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut‘
And not you.
There’s this stupid commercial that starts with two stupid women at a stupid spa, wearing stupid white terrycloth robes. Now, to show that the makers of this commercial do not think that just white women are stupid, one of the stupid women is black.
It starts out with the white woman saying that the product, some kind of stupid chocolate thing, is like zen wrapped in karma. She’s so stupid that she can’t even use those words in their Western, everyday, nothing-like-the-original-Buddhist-and-Hindu-meanings meanings (sic).
Then, then - God help us all - she states, as a male attendant walks by, that eating this product is like Dating A Masseuse Good. In front of the male attendant. Since it’s just a little too kinky to actually be in a commercial aimed at the obvious demographic during daytime television and prime time, I have to go back to my chosen adjective for this post to describe it; Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Is she trying to entice him or trying to let him know that she’d rather date the masseuse? (Doesn’t she know that terry cloth isn’t sexy? Even wet terrycloth? Her robe isn’t wet, I’m just saying.)
I mean seriously, when they were writing this commercial and as the script and then the production were going through twenty different hands and minds, was the Stupid Filter made of used toilet paper? Seriously. Okay, not seriously. But seriously.
Still not as bad as Star Trek: Enterprise, though.
A short time after the writing of the above, I thought to google “dating a masseuse good.” Small world.
The people of Hazleton, Pennsylvania have organized a campaign to ban Santa from their town because he is an illegal immigrant and an undocumented worker.
Tongue in cheek? Or not? Let me know, but not via the comment process since it is still fubared. Email me.
Google string for ‘hazleton no santa‘
It appears that for all of you who like to leave comments on my blog all the time, there is a system problem. It will allow you to Submit the comment but then it vanishes into the aether; it does not appear on my admin page to be moderated.
I know this is a hardship for dozens of you and I apologize.
The UberSysAdmin is looking into it.
If all of you will email me your many comments, I will post them myself.
Thanks to every one of you for many great comments over the years and your boundless patience over the next short while. Please don’t let this little blip discourage you from continuing this wonderful tradition once the bugs have been exterminated.
Thank you, and carry on.
Expression of Appropriate Seasonal And/Or Regional And/Or Cultural Sentiments. Please Interpret Reasonably.
The screen on the left is closest to me, so it appears larger. It is in fact my main computer monitor with a cable TV card. The top right is my good TV, but with a bit of colour control problems. Still watchable. The bottom right screen is my second best TV, with contrast problems.
What you’re seeing is from the latest BSG episode shown on Space (photo taken with my phone - I love saying that…) , a scene on the Cylon base star, with D’Anna, Caprica 6 and Baltar around the reincarnation tank of the strange mystic humanoid Cylon who D’Anna thinks is the font of all arcane knowledge, and maybe the way to the Final Five Cylons, whom we haven’t knowingly seen yet. I think Baltar is one, personally, because how else could he have survived the nuclear blast at the Caprican lakehouse mansion with Caprica 6, and then show up with his books to get on board the Raptor with nary a wound nor a hair out of place? Hmm?
Some day, some early evening, go down to the Bay store at Queen and Yonge. Walk west on Queen on the south side, along the row of themed windows that the Bay (and Simpson’s long before the Bay came along) do every year for Christmas. This year the theme is Narnia and ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.’ Go to the westernmost window. You’ll be looking at a tableau of Peter, Edmund, Lucy and Susan enthroned as the Kings and Queens of Narnia. Take a look at the young King on the far left. He’s a doppelganger for Jonathan Suzuki-Cook, swear to Aslan. Cool.
While you’re down there, since it’s early evening, go across to Nathan Philips Square and catch the Cavalcade of Lights. Designed by French artist Xavier de Richemont, the show uses light to visually remake the western facade of Old City Hall over and over again, in trippy and
hippy-dippy ways. Check out this shot. It’s quite stunning, even if the music is bit too New Agey. The 10-15 minute show runs every hour from 5:30pm to 10:30pm until the end of December.
If you’re shopping downtown, or just nearby, or just want a diversion that doesn’t cost anything this time of year, it’s worth the visit.
Hey, stay for an hour and watch it again!
What are you and your family doing Monday night at 8:00pm with the TV tuned to CBC?
It’s a live-action UK/Canada co-production (filmed in Romania) of the great classic, fairly faithful to the tale as far as I can tell from the casting, ( and the articles I’ve just seen), but with the characters as almost completely humanoid, without fancy prosthetics. Matt Lucas, of the excellent English sketch comedy series ‘Little Britain‘ (which is narrated by Tom Baker) stars as Toad, with Bob Hoskins as Badger, and our own Mary Walsh as the Washerwoman.
Here’s the BBC press pack for the production.
Why this post, you may be asking yourself?
I’m a big fan of the book, and I even wrote two short stories a few years ago inspired by my first re-reading of the book in decades.
I saw the cover picture on this week’s Toronto Star TV magazine, beamed in delight and went straight to the article.
“The Day After Tomorrow”
In a word, ‘Stinkah’.
That is all.
So, the last three nights Space was running what turned out to be an excellent miniseries, ‘The Lost Room‘. It was kinda spooky and weirdly normal. Based on the discovery of some everyday objects with odd powers; just a pair of scissors, but they rotate objects; an ordinary watch that hardboils an egg. The thing was that these and dozens of other objects with other odd powers came from an strange event at a New Mexico motel in 1961. One religious group thinks that God is dead and these are pieces of God; collecting them all together will bring back God or allow them to talk to God. One man wants to collect all these objects and recreate the event that created them and so bring back his dead son.
The logic and reasoning within the show was remarkably internally consistent for this sort of thing but it also seemed like the paranoid delusions of a madman (one of whom we meet in the last episode). Put these three objects together to open a secret door. But where’s the door? We’ll find it by examining these decades old Polaroids!
Do you remember the wall full of newspaper clippings in ‘A Dangerous Mind’?
Moody, creepy, big fun!
Now A&E’s been advertising ‘Wedding Wars‘. What if the gays went on strike?
During the first episode of The Lost Room I was surfing during a commercial break. I landed on A&E and saw a newsdesk with a female anchor on the left and a male anchor on the right. The male anchor is saying “I’m on strike too, asswipes.” Who wouldn’t laugh?
So when A&E reran the show at 1:00am, I watched it. Here’s the gist: the Maine governor’s daughter’s fiance’s gay brother is hired to plan the Governor’s daughter’s wedding to the gay wedding planner’s brother. The Governor comes out (you should pardon the expression) against gay marriage, which pisses off the gay wedding planner and sparks a strike by gays across the continental United States. The part with the news anchor that I surfed to was just as the strike was spreading; the teleprompter guy was a friend of Dorothy.
Turned out to be a nice little screwballish comedy with some good jokes and a happy ending, but what would you expect?
Now, if you really want a crazzy (sic) Christmas comedy, check out, on A&E (I’m sure they’ll run it a dozen more times in the next week and a half), a comedy based on ‘A Christmas Carol’ called ‘Karroll’s Christmas‘. The twist is that the spirits get the wrong address and start harrassing Mr Rosecog’s neighbour, who it turns out, has Christmas issues of his own. Highlights are Wallace Shawn as Mr Rosecog (anagram it) and Verne Troyer as Christmas Future.
That is to say, anagrams for “Merry Christmas”…which, BTW, in case I don’t see you, Merry Christmas. And thanks for all the fish. I mean friendliness.
CERAMISTS MYRRH
CERAMIST MYRRHS
MATRICES MYRRHS
CHAMMY STIRRERS
MISCARRY THERMS
MARTYRS CHIMERS
MARTYR SMIRCHES
I especially like the last two.
The Internet Anagram Server’s take on “merry christmas anagrams”