Barkerburgh

Well, I laughed my guts out for nearly ninety minutes solid last night.

First, there was the season premiere of ‘Arrested Development’, a rip-snorter of a comedy anyway, but a double on the rocks with a twist (or three) last night. Charlize Theron and Dave Thomas (yes, OUR Dave Thomas) guested and - never mind, I can’t describe it properly if you’ve never seen it and if you’ve never seen it, you won’t get it, kind of like if you don’t like golf, which I don’t.

Now, I was a little worried about the second episode of ‘Kitchen Confidential’ (based on the memoirs of chef Anthony Bourdain, as Leslie kindly reminded me), but it rocked. If they can keep this up and not poop out, as shows like this have done throughout the history of American television sitcoms, she’s a keeper.

That was one hour.

The last half hour was ‘The Daily Show’ at midnight on Hurricane Rita. ‘Nuff said.

The second episode of ‘My Name is Earl’ is on tonight. Fingers crossed and breath bated.

PS, I went for a too long walk in new shoes and my feet are killing me, like a Mongol on a peasant, swear to God. Wish me well, ie leave a comment. Remember that I equate comments with love, approbation and validation.

PPS, the Lotsa Larfs part is obvious, the Sex was in ‘Kitchen Confidential’.

I’m an empiricist. I’m a humanist. I’m an atheist.

(I rearranged those sentences three times. Emphasis and relevance. Poetic balance. The way they are now is the way I feel them. Now.)

I like most people, most ideas, most concepts. I’m willing to consider anything on its merits as long as it doesn’t threaten the life, health or mental well-being of people around me, or people in general or children in particular.

(Some dumbass named ‘Allupons’ or something commented on my blog a little while ago, who should be slappe - never mind.)

So without going into a raging, profane polemic about what I hate, I will post these links.

Medecins Sans Frontieres, or as we say in English, Doctors Without Borders.

The UN: yeah, it’s in need of reform, but Christ, you ever tried to volunteer at the Red Cross recently? It’s like applying for credit when you still owe CA$27.50 on your student loan from twenty-five years ago.

This is new; Reporters Without Borders.

Peace, hope and trust, my friends.

There were two really funny series premieres on this week, surprisingly.

I have favourite sitcoms; Friends, Seinfeld, the Symptoms, but I rarely watch others, especially new ones, because when I do, I can mostly predict the jokes, because I are a comedial genious. (Did you see what I did there? All four?)

Michael Rappaport, who I think is cool, is in a new one with some nice touches, but is generally dumb.

But you must check out ‘My Name Is Earl’, with Jason Lee. He’s the ex-skate-boarder who was a Kevin Smith regular for years, and who did a great Azrael in one of my favourite movies, Dogma. He plays a redneck who won the lottery, but was then immediately hit by a car (losing the ticket; it blows away as he’s lying on the road), was on morphine in the hospital, saw Carson Daly on TV talking about karma, and decided he had to right every wrong he’d ever done.

The other series is called ‘Kitchen Confidential’ and it’s about an alcoholic loser, former-celebrity chef who is given a second chance with a new restaurant. It’s considerably more formulaic than Earl, but the lead is funny and the setup is good. Bitty Schram, formerly Sharona of Monk, is the chef’s friend/local food critic. FY yer I, I was a cook (not a chef) for ten years one decade and I nearly gagged on some of the gags, they were that true.

So why did I title this entry ‘Joan of Arcadia’? Because I miss it, goddammit.

Watch the goddam shows.

Does anybody anywhere who is not an ambulance-chaser think that somebody seeing a t-shirt that says ‘Prairie Ho Companion’ on it will automatically and irrevocably associate it with Lake Wobegon? To the reputationous and financially detrimentous dysbenefit of all those dependantly and workally affiliateded on the show.

I like Garrison Keillor. I like The Prairie Home Companion.

I like the the punchline to the joke “What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of Lake Ontario?”

This is rubbish. Invoking the American Constitution for a bad joke bordering on copyright infringement?

Did I say rubbish?

I meant good old American midwestern horseshit. Rocking chairs on the porch, rooster weathervanes, baseball diamonds in the cornfield, seventeen cities called Springfield between the Mississippi and the Rockies horseshit.

So sue me.

Oh, another punchline! The joke was first told about French camp followers (by English sailors) during the Napoleonic Wars. “You call her a garrison keeler!”

I should do t-shirts!

1) French vanilla ice cream

2) Fudge sauce

3) Cream

4) Homemade chili beforehand

5) Cream cheese spread like butter

7) Using raspberry jam between two slices of brownie so you have the best sandwich in the world, if there was a competition, which if there really was, I’d win

8) A glass of cold milk and microwaved brownie

9) Using the dry crumbly edge bits on top of the French vanilla ice cream mentioned above, instead of the other way round

10) A tall glass of ice-cold cranberry juice. Or two.

Thank you, Peter, Laura and Jon. I have a lot of walking to do.

Gilligan is dead.

Now will the sequels stop?

Oh, no! I just remembered digital doppelgangers.

Shit.