Rerun, Again
Spoilers
a quasihaiku nouveau by david barker
Rosebud was a sled.
Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father. And Princess Leia’s.
Soylent Green is people. (Now with more girls!)
Bruce Willis is dead.
Old Yeller gets shot.
Amy’s not a lesbian.
Tyler Durden is the narrator guy.
Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes is - um - I don’t actually know.
Fiona is a she-ogre. (Donkey does Dragon.)
Li Mu Bai dies. Jen dies. Jade Fox dies. Lo is heartbroken. Hsu Lien is heartbroken.
God is Alanis Morissette. And so is Bud Cort.
Alien conquerors’ computers support a Java virtual machine which can be hacked from a Mac laptop. Really.
There are more dinosaurs on another island nearby.
The Mummy returns.
The Japanese did it.
The old lady was lying about the jewel.
Dil is a man in drag.
Frankly, my dear, he doesn’t give a damn.
Jesus gets crucified.
Grace and the children are the real ghosts.
The original Planet of the Apes is really Earth.
Norman Bates’ mother is Norman in drag.
Oz was all a dream.
The thing in the briefcase was probably Marcellus’ mojo.
Kevin Spacey is dead.
Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze.
- fin